Quotations on Engineering.
Dedicated to the "Bean" in Millenium Park, Chicago

Engineering is the art of organizing and directing men and controlling the forces and materials of nature for the benefit of the human race.

Henry G. Stott, 1907

Engineering is a great profession. There is the satisfaction of watching a figment of the imagination emerge through the aid of science to a plan on paper. Then it moves to realisation in stone or metal or energy. Then it brings homes to men or women. Then it elevates the standard of living and adds to the comforts of life. This is the engineer's high privilege.

Herbert Hoover (1874 - 1964)

Engineers participate in the activities which make the resources of nature available in a form beneficial to man and provide systems which will perform optimally and economically.

L. M. K. Boelter, 1957

The ideal engineer is a composite ... He is not a scientist, he is not a mathematician, he is not a sociologist or a writer; but he may use the knowledge and techniques of any or all of these disciplines in solving engineering problems.

N. W. Dougherty, 1955

Engineering is an activity other than purely manual and physical work which brings about the utilization of the materials and laws of nature for the good of humanity.

R. E. Hellmund, 1929

Pet Quotations

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

August Strindberg (1849 - 1912), A Madman's Diary, 1895

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000), (Snoopy)

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.

George Eliot (1819 - 1880), 'Mr. Gilfil's Love Story,' Scenes of Clerical Life, 1857

Cats regard people as warmblooded furniture.

Jacquelyn Mitchard, The Deep End of the Ocean

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Jeff Valdez

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.

Joe Weinstein

We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.

Maurice Maeterlinck (1862 - 1949)

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

Peter Steiner, cartoon in The New Yorker, July 5, 1993

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Weather Quotations

When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure.

Alice Hoffman, 'Here on Earth'

Time for the weather report. It's cold out folks. Bonecrushing cold. The kind of cold which will wrench the spirit out of a young man, or forge it into steel.

Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Lost and Found, 1992

Weather forcast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

George Carlin

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?

Kelvin Throop III

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.

Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

Michael Pritchard

Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.

Rebecca Johnson, in 'Vogue'

Humorous quotes from Woody Allen.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

I am at two with nature.

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.