If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

August Strindberg (1849 - 1912), A Madman's Diary, 1895

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000), (Snoopy)

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.

George Eliot (1819 - 1880), 'Mr. Gilfil's Love Story,' Scenes of Clerical Life, 1857

Cats regard people as warmblooded furniture.

Jacquelyn Mitchard, The Deep End of the Ocean

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Jeff Valdez

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.

Joe Weinstein

We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.

Maurice Maeterlinck (1862 - 1949)

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

Peter Steiner, cartoon in The New Yorker, July 5, 1993

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)